Honor, Love, Blood, and Old Man Lucha Brawls *****

If you’re here for technical breakdowns for this kind of match, I’m sorry this isn’t going to be that kind of review. This is me straight vibing to a masterpiece that’s a sleeper MOTYC. And here we are again with a AAA tag match that could only be described as a Hooper special. This is the kind of match where I sit on the couch with Jesus and get down to it. A true Hooper special. The special thing about these types of matches is that it could either be funny/bad or some generational graps. But I respect our lucha elders too much to disrespect the old heads and write those kinds of nasty reviews. That’s why I’m writing about this incredibly generational match between L.A. Park & RUSH vs. DMT Azul & Blue Demon Jr. at Triplemania.

I’m a little rusty when it comes to writing reviews. I haven’t written anything since March. So don’t disrespect my pen or keyboard skills. I’m like Dr.Dre when he woke up from that coma in that song “I Need A Doctor” and Eminem, or in this case Monty, told Dre “I can endure no more, I demand you remember who you are” so I had to sit my ass down and get into some real F’ing graps.

The Hooper is never going to lie to y’all, but I literally had no idea what the heck was happening at this match or in this case “I didn’t understand the assignment” like these young kids like to say. After everyone was describing how this works, I was finally able to enjoy Blue Demon coming out to Red Hot Chilli Peppers. A true OG of this game. I also want to give a shout-out to my boy RUSH (the top dawg of AEW) for coming out to his AEW theme. That’s a team player and our future AEW International Champion. And just like when he’s on AEW, this f’ing dawg steals the show and proves why he’s the MVP of whatever card he’s on.

This tournament is extremely confusing if it’s your first time watching AAA. Because this tournament requires you to tag with your rival, and if you lose, that means you move on to the next round with your tag partner until you reach the final. That’s when you and your partner face each other in a hair vs. hair, mask vs. hair, or a mask vs. mask match, depending on what you got.

Okay, now that the rules have been explained, let’s get into some real graps.

This match starts off incredibly. RUSH ATTACKS L.A. PARK!!!! You really can’t make this shit up. But Azul & Blue Demon Jr. use this to take advantage, but RUSH didn’t let Demon get the better of him so easily. This demon just goes savage mode. He starts ripping at Blue Demon’s mask to show that he’s leaking blood. This match is so funny because it feels like a free for all.

L.A. Park and Azul are doing incredible business in the ring. L.A. Park is able to get this sold-out crowd to yell for him to fire up, but this just leads to RUSH stealing the spotlight. I’m not complaining, though, that just means more sweaty meat slapping between Azul and RUSH. This exchange was beautiful. Nothing gets me going like hearing the sound of chops ripping the skin of people’s sweaty chests. This was the visual that RUSH and Azul were giving us. Unfortunately, it didn’t last long. Those bastards L.A. Park and Blue Demon had to get involved with some big lariarts.

But then, only a few seconds later, this big ass L.A. Park does a freaking tope to Azul to the outside. This man literally could’ve killed someone. This is professional wrestling baby. Blue Demon follows L.A. Park’s lead, but like typical AAA, they missed it. The production team quickly make up for it by showing Blue Demon hitting RUSH with a chair, and no, it wasn’t a folding chair, IT WAS LIKE A RESTAURANT CHAIR (don’t ask me what a restaurant chair is, I have no idea too). THIS MATCH IS ENTERING ANOTHER GEAR.

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!!!!!! I WISH I CAN PUT A GIF OR A TWEET (Maybe I can? Let me try) BECAUSE BLUE DEMON JR IS PUNCHING THE FUCK OUT OF RUSH!!!!! OH MY GOD THIS IS BEAUTIFUL. Guys this is very pornagrphic. The violence, the intensity, and the tired old man graps are making me shed real hooper tears. They are huffing and puffing, but that Mexican fighting spirit is starting to take over, like how the spirits took over Elvis’s body when he started to dance.

But now, this is the art of pro wrestling that I love. L.A. Park and Blue Demon are left in the ring, alone surrounded by the fans chanting for them to fight. I can only describe this as being like when two Roman gladiators fought for their lives. This was the closest I was going to get to that feeling. Both men were gassed, but they knew what was on the line. They start start chopping each other, and you quickly notice Blue Demon hates chops. It only took one before he started covering up. But that didn’t stop him from throwing them. They’re gassed. It’s a sight to behold, but the love for lucha libre powers them through. After a few out of breath lariarts from Blue Demon Jr., L.A. Park is able to hit a DDT exploding suplex in the corner. Demon lands on his head, but Park is only able to get a 2 count.

You can feel this match is on its last legs, but that’s okay. Not everything is supposed to last forever. Just cherish what you can for as long as you can. Both L.A. Park and Blue Demon move to the side so they can catch their breath since they were so close to death, so RUSH and DMT Azul use this opportunity to beat each other up some more. BUT HOLY SHIT L.A. PARK AND BLUE DEMON JR’S LEGS AREN’T DONE YET!!!!! THEY HIT BIG DIVES!!!!

OH MY GOD, THE GREATEST FINISH OF ALL TIME JUST HAPPENED!!!! L.A. PARK HAD THIS WON AFTER HE PUT DEMON THROUGH A TABLE. BUT HE SAID “FUCK THAT” AND JUST KICKED RUSH ( his tag partner) IN THE DICK!!!! AND PARK ROLLS DEMON ON TOP FOR THE WIN!!!! LA PARK HATED RUSH SO MUCH HE DIDN’T CARE IF THEY LOST. HE WANTS RUSH IN THE FINAL SO CAN TAKE HIS HAIR. YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.

Then you’d assume DMT Azul would be happy about all this, but instead of checking on Blue Demon Jr., he just rips off his mask and beats on LA Park. This is professional wrestling baby.

Look, man, people are going to tell you this match was okay, but don’t listen to them. The Hooper is going to set you straight. I’m going to hold your hand and take you to the promised land like Jesus. I’m not going to lead you astray, this match was fucking ***** on the Hooper scale. And don’t get me started on the vibe check. I was all vibed out. I was shaking so much you would’ve thought I had the flu. When AAA gets it right, they feel like the best wrestling promotion in the world. And that’s why you need to watch this 16-minute Match of the Year contender.

And my final thoughts I want to leave you with are words from the wise man Adam Leavelle.

“This is professional wrestling bitch”